


Love is Sometimes Wise

by SeleneJessabelle12626



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Implied Sexual Content, Space Wives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 04:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16318763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeleneJessabelle12626/pseuds/SeleneJessabelle12626
Summary: "Remember – hate is always foolish…and love, is always wise." -The Twelfth DoctorShe had said it herself when she had been that gray-haired Scotsman, but how can love always be wise when her own doesn't recognize her?





	Love is Sometimes Wise

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written a Doctor Who fic pretty much ever so I'm not 100% confident with all the characterization. Also River has not yet met Twelve in this story. Her timeline is somewhere post Eleven but pre-Twelve.

“Oh you’ll love it! Karios is beautiful this time of year. The leaves all changin’ colours, purples and blues and pinks and everything in between! It’s amazing!” The Doctor was telling them, darting back and forth around the TARDIS console. It wasn’t their first adventure since they’d met her but it was set to be the first place she was taking them at a request.

Graham had made a comment akin to everything in space wanting to kill them and The Doctor had refuted that suggestion passionately, promising to take them somewhere completely safe. She’d asked for ideas and Ryan had asked to see somewhere that wasn’t Earth-like because up until now, every planet they’d been to looked like someplace they could find on Earth.

A turn of a dial, a flick of a dozen switches and a press of the custard cream pedal and The Doctor stepped back from the console, one hand on her hip and biscuit in the other. “That should do it, come on then, let’s go be impressed.”

They spent the next several hours wandering incredible gardens and meandering down tree-lined paths, The Doctor answering every question with a smug sort of excitement. As if by asking her their questions they were acknowledging she was the smartest one around but was glad to share her knowledge.

They were taking a break on a bench on an overlook that was above a massive grove of the so-called Zamza trees when Yaz asked “So Doctor, I have question that might be kind of personal but I was just wondering, when we met you, you said you didn’t know who you were yet. What did you mean by that?”

The Doctor looked thoughtful for a long few moments, staring out at the vastness of the trees spread out before them, an ocean of colourful movement as far as the eye could see. “I told you all I was an alien.” She said slowly, as if considering each word. “You know I’m a Time Lord. That’s what my people are, were at least. We look just like you humans, makes makin’ friends a bit easier to be honest. But my biology is different than yours. I got two hearts ‘stead of one, I’m immune to some things that would kill humans but the biggest difference is what we call regeneration. If, when, I die, every cell in my body rewrites itself and starts all over. I keep my memories because I am still me fundamentally, but everything else is all new.”  
  
“So on the train, when you said you’d been a gray-haired Scotsman, you weren’t joking?” Graham asked, The Doctor smiling in response.

“No wasn’t joking. I was a Scotsman, had been for a while.”

“And you said it’d been a while since you’d bought women’s clothes?” Ryan commented, looking at her in disbelief.

“It had, my last twelve regenerations were all men. This was even more new to me.”

“But why a woman now?” Yaz questioned.

“Haven’t the faintest. I just am. Makes for an exciting change doesn’t it?” The Doctor said with a grin before hopping to her feet. “Now then, lets get going. Should get back to the TARDIS in time to watch the sunset if we keep at a nice pace.”

~

They were chattering animatedly as they got back into the TARDIS, the sky dark behind them now that the sun had set. “Now then, tell me that was dangerous eh Graham?” The Doctor called jokingly from the console as she flitted around it to prepare for takeoff.

Graham opened his mouth to reply but paused as the TARDIS door suddenly opened and abruptly closed. They turned to look and standing in the entryway was a woman. She looked to be older than The Doctor appeared but younger than Graham and had hair so curly it looked like it defied gravity.

“Oh hello, lovely to meet you all.” She said with a wry smile, confidently walking to the console while looking around. “Oh he’s redecorated. Very nice. Don’t mind me, just saw the TARDIS, figured I’d pop in and say hello.”

“River.” Yaz heard The Doctor whisper and turned to look at the Time Lord. Her eyes were wide and shimmery, and looked, hopeful. She took a step towards the woman, River and said her name again, louder this time. It sounded practically like a prayer on her lips.

“Oh he’s mentioned me then? Wonderful, saves me the introductions” She was cut off by The Doctor embracing her tightly and pressing their lips together. River looked surprised but not nearly as surprised as the three humans watching the exchange.

River pulled back and gently pushed her away as she looked down at The Doctor with a pitying smile. “Darling as keen as I am and as lovely as you are, I must admit I’m married and I am certain he wouldn’t be too happy with me, especially since you’re one of his companions.”

Yaz could have sworn that she saw the joy and hope visibly drain from The Doctor’s face, the shimmering excitement in her eyes falling away in an instant. “Right. Of course. How silly of me. You’re here for The Doctor, I’ll just, go fetch him.” She said, her voice wavering and growing quiet. She turned away from River and quickly walked towards the door that led to the rest of the ship, gone before any of them could say a word.

“So where are you all from then?” River asked, unaware of the tension as she moved to the console as if she had spent her entire life with it.

“Sheffield.” Graham said, looking at Ryan and Yaz with uncertainty. “So you know The Doctor?”

“I’d say, considering I married him.” She said with a chuckle, reaching out a hand to stroke the console, but pulled it away with a yelp of surprise. “Now what was that for?” She questioned, looking up at the crystal with a bitter frown. “No need to zap me.”

Yaz realized what was happening and looked at the others to see if they had picked up on what was going on, based on their expressions of guilt and pity, they did as well. Ryan looked at her, his eyes saying ‘Do we say something?’

River looked back at them thoughtfully, taking in their expressions and then looking back at the TARDIS console. She let out a deep sigh and closed her eyes. “Oh I’ve made quite the mistake haven’t I?” The TARDIS gave a sharp beep as if to confirm. River looked back at them, “He’s regenerated again hasn’t he?” She asked, though her expression said that she already knew the answer.

Yaz nodded “She told us she’d never been a woman before.”

“And of course I’m sure it didn’t help matters that I didn’t recognize him. He’s always so sulky after a regeneration as it is. Hates that everything’s different. You’d imagine that a man so reliant on change would be better at handling it.” She gave the TARDIS a light pat, causing the crystal to glow gold for a moment as if accepting the apology. The biscuit dispenser activated on its own and River held up the custard cream with a chuckle. “Custard creams? My love you really have changed.”

She turned to the three of them and said, “If you’ll excuse me, I have someone to apologize to.”

~

 The Doctor’s bedroom was in the same place it always was. No matter the TARDIS, no matter The Doctor, the bedroom remained the same. His, no her, preferences changed with each regeneration, River knew that but it seemed that her (their?) bedroom was a continual thing. The door was the same as all the others in the TARDIS, completely nondescript and undistinguishable. But River knew which it was.

Part of her expected the door to be locked and maybe it had been, but as she approached, it opened a crack. “Thank you dear.” She whispered, patting the doorframe lightly, the lights flashing in reply.

The Doctor’s bedroom hadn’t changed, just like she’d assumed.

She’d always thought it rather plain considering whom it belonged to. It was an average sized room with a normal looking bed and normal looking furniture. If she didn’t know any better she’d think she’d stumbled upon one of the guest rooms.

_‘Rule 1, The Doctor lies.’_ She thought to herself, looking around the room. The Doctor was a man? of many secrets and she didn’t think for one second that she knew remotely all of them. She did know that when no one but The Doctor was around the bedroom was different. She knew the TARDIS, ever the loyal girl she was, hid the true nature of the room from prying eyes. Once, only once had River glimpsed what the room looked like to the one who lived in it, she had been half-asleep and relaxed and she hadn’t even understood what she was seeing at first. But later, when she was fully awake she realized the walls glowing gold and the melodious lullaby hadn’t been there when she’d fallen asleep. _Gallifrey_ her brain or maybe the TARDIS had told her. Maybe it had been, lullabies and images to remind The Doctor of home. But this, this was the simple room she knew and had spent countless hours in.

Silently she took a step in, shutting the door behind her. The walls were painted a muted gold, subtle and warm. The door was flanked by bookshelves on either side that were filled to the brim with books and tomes and scrolls. All well loved and from all over time and space but perfectly preserved by the TARDIS.

She walked past the armoire, smilingly faintly at the collection of garments within. None ever worn at this point, it was more of a display case than anything. The leather jacket, the long trench coat, the well-worn trainers, and farther back the colourful knit scarf and patterned over coat. She lightly put her hand against the glass above the case of bowties, all sitting neatly as if waiting to be used again. She half-expected to see that stupid fez, but no. Even he’d finally accepted that mistake.

The wall next to the armoire was littered with pictures in all manner of frames. She didn’t even pretend to recognize all the faces. Some she did, her parents were somewhat prominently featured, their faces laughing and smiling in every still. There were quite a few pictures of Clara, her eyes bright. Madame Vasta and Jenny in their wedding gowns, Strax standing behind them proudly. She herself was in several both with her parents and alone. There were photos she didn’t remember being taken or perhaps they hadn’t even been taken yet in her timeline. She could never quite be sure.

Finally, River looked up. This was the part that had always been her favorite. The ceiling was nearly a hundred meteres above the floor and was an immense window that went far beyond the perceived dimensions of the room below. Outside the glass, the sparkling lights of the night sky of Karios, completely unpolluted by lights of cities or civilization. She could spend hours watching the stars or the time vortex through that window, she had spent hours laying in that bed listening to the steady dual-heartbeat of her love while the universe flew by above them. But now, a hammock rocked gently in the center of it, suspended as if by magic, despite her knowing it was either magnetic lifters or a gravity rig.

Dangling off of one side of the hammock was one trouser clad leg with a boot. Completely androgynous, if she didn’t know any better it would be easy to imagine that figure up there wearing a bowtie. Could imagine the figure with floppy hair and a tweed coat. The figure was not the man she had known, but yet she still was. The woman up there was still her husband (wife?) and would be till the day that he (she?) died for the final time. That woman up there was The Doctor. And despite her mistake, River always knew what to say to The Doctor.

“Hello Sweetie.” She called sweetly, the hammock shifting and shuddering as the leg was hurriedly pulled back onto it. “I’ve made a right mistake of it haven’t I? Thinking you were your own companion. You’d think after all this time I’d be able to know you the moment I saw you. But yet here we are. How is it that every time we fight or one of us says something foolish we end up in the bedroom?” She let her voice take a note of teasing to it and the hammock fell still.

“I’m glad you didn’t redecorate in here, I have a fair few wonderful memories in this room and I rather not see it changed.” She looked around the room a bit before looking back up. “You know I’ve never actually seen you regenerate if we’re being honest. You’ve only told me stories but you’re so wonderful a story-teller it almost makes me feel like I have seen it.” The hammock shifted again, going taut in the middle as if The Doctor had abruptly sat up in it.

“And I can only assume it was fairly recently that it happened wasn’t it? Do you remember what you said when I asked what it was like for you? We were lying in this bed, looking up at the stars, just like this. You said that you wished you could stop. That you wouldn’t have to do it anymore, because you hated the change that came along with it. You told me how you knew you would barely be the same man anymore. That your personality would change along with your body and you hated having to relearn yourself. I suppose I never really understood what the problem was but now, I think I do. Custard creams? Really?”

She heard a chuckle from above, the sound practically raining down around her.

“So I am sorry my love. I am sorry for not recognizing you behind the eyes of a beautiful, unfamiliar woman.” She heard the buzz of a sonic screwdriver. The hammock suddenly falling out of the air but River merely took a step back as the gravity in the entire room lessened just in time for The Doctor to land neatly on her feet, coat flaring around her.

Her eyes were a bit red and River felt guilty about making The Doctor cry, note then, this Doctor far more emotional than the one she knew. The outfit was pure Doctor she had to admit; only he (she?) would purposefully choose such an impractical coat. It was a wonder River had ever assumed this woman was human. She blatantly looked The Doctor up and down, imagining the new feminine curves hidden beneath the oversized coat.

She met The Doctor’s eyes saw the hopeful and worried expression and realized “You’re worried I won’t like the way you look now.”

“I mean, the thought had crossed my mind.” The Doctor replied, looking away from River.

River could not help but laugh. “Oh darling, I wasn’t joking back there. You really are lovely. Shorter than I’m used to but that’s what heels were invented for. But I like it.” She ran her fingers through the blonde bob and said “Blonde, not quite ginger but its suits you.”

That seemed to set The Doctor off. “I know! A woman before a ginger! What are the odds?”

“And what an accent.” River chuckled.

“Ey, lots of planets have a North.” The Doctor said with an unamused look. It only lasted a moment before both women broke into giggles at the ridiculousness of it all.

River took this chance to grab The Doctor by the lapels of her jacket and pull her close, their lips meeting. This time it was The Doctor who was surprised, making a small noise of shock that was cut off by a happy sounding sigh. She pulled back and pressed her forehead to River’s. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“We both know you aren’t going to tell me the timelines or how long it’s been for you. So just let me give you a proper apology and help you learn this new body of yours.” She smirked, slipping the coat off of The Doctor’s shoulders.

“Unless you got too curious for your own good.” She teased coyly, her eyes widening when The Doctor blushed bright red and looked away guiltily.

“You naughty girl!” River laughed in disbelief before their lips crashed together again.

“Hel-lo Sweetie.” The Doctor managed between breathless kisses as they made their way to the bed.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> *Chickens out of writing actual smut despite kind of wanting to*


End file.
